


Fire Starts With Matches

by IlliterateUnicorn



Series: Wild Life [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2014 Castiel - Freeform, 2014 Dean, Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Angst, Bottom Castiel, End!verse, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death, Over Protective Dean, Smut, Stoner Castiel, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 17:46:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1787656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IlliterateUnicorn/pseuds/IlliterateUnicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has taken up residence in Dean's cabin, and neither are too fond of the idea that he'll be leaving the camp any time soon. </p><p>While Dean continues his job as leader of the camp, Castiel is brought to a group of nineteen adolecents in need of an education, but don't seem to want it. They both must deal with their jobs, while trying to reconnect, after the three and a half years spent separated.</p><p>Not to mention that a large majority of the people in the camp still seem to have their minds set on Dean and Castiel breaking up, at any cost.</p><p>[Title from Wild Life by Hedley]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fire Starts With Matches

**Author's Note:**

> Part two!! Basically, a lot more angst and plot than part one, with some smut still added in there. The Jess and Sam relationship will progress, worry not.
> 
> [Unbeta'd. If anyone wants to be a beta for me, please tell me!]

"Okay, what the hell was that?" Dean asked as they walked back into their cabin. They'd spent most of the morning conversing with Ellen about what jobs everyone would get - Gabriel was going to help out in the kitchen, Balthazar with inventory and keeping track of people, and Anna could, apparently, handle a gun very well.

"What was what?" Cas asked, turning as Dean shut the door.

"I know you, and I know when that's not a real smile." Dean said softly. Cas shook his head, shrugging away from Dean's hand, that had rested on his shoulder. "Cas?"

"It's nothing." Castiel sighed, pulling the jacket off, running a hand through his hair.

"Cas, what is it?" Dean walked over, pulling Cas closer by his wrists. "Look, I just got you back. Tell me what's wrong? You've never been as cheery or sarcastic as you just were."

"And you've never been as cold as I just saw you." Cas snapped, and Dean stilled. "Shit, no. I didn't mean that."

"No, I get it." Dean released Cas' wrists, stepping back and going to sit on the bed, slowly unlacing his boots.

"No, you don't." Cas face-palmed, walking over to kneel next to where Dean was. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm not used to this - any of this."

"Any of what?" Dean looked up for a moment, meeting his eyes. "The end of the world? News flash, babe. It's not a new thing anymore."

"No, not the end of the world." Cas sighed, resting his forehead on Dean's shoulder. "This - having you within reach again. Being part of a community." he paused. "Seeing you acting like you don't care, when I know you do."

"Cas-"

"Dean, I know you better than anyone." he pulled back a bit. "Even if we've been apart for a few years, I still know you. And I know you care more about most of the people at this camp than you're willing to let on, aren't you?" _  
_

"Can we please drop the subject?" Dean asked, looking away again. Cas sighed.

He was so much like the Dean he'd met at a teenager. Not wanting to discuss his feelings, happy to just ignore them.

"You know I still love you, right?" Castiel clarified, reaching out to take Dean's chin gently in his fingers. Dean looked up, nodding a bit, face still solemn.

"Yea, I know." he spoke, voice barely above a whisper. "I love you, too."

   

The next few days seemed to drag on. 

Castiel would accompany Dean for most of the day, as Ellen was still organizing his 'classes', and Dean mostly would check in on everything going on throughout the camp. That people were doing there jobs, that no one was sick, that if people were willing to go out on hunts, they knew how to fight.

During these times, they would occasionally go and sit in a different cabin, one with a large table in it, with Sam, Bobby, Ellen and Ash, to discuss new plans as to where they would be going out to hunt next, hoping to get more supplies, find more humans.

During these times, occasionally the brothers would get into small arguments, that Ellen would have to break up. Castiel got to know Bobby and Ash a bit during these times.

Ash seemed more or less pretty chill. Castiel wondered idly, on occasion, if Ash had any form of drugs. He didn't think to ask, still on his ' _my husband is alive_ ' high. _  
_

Bobby, on the other hand, had the mind of a hunter. He'd grown up hunting animals, and was fairly good at getting to the point when it came to a hunt, then leaving Ellen to deal with Sam and Dean when they started to tear at each other's throats.

He was nice enough, if not a bit too gruff for Castiel's liking. But, it was obvious that Sam looked to the man as a father figure, and, while maybe only to Castiel, he could see that Dean truly admired the hunter as well. He made sure not to get on his bad side.

"We're going on a hunt in the morning?" Cas asked, walking hand in hand with Dean through the camp, swinging their hands purposefully, almost flaunting it as they walked past a group containing Risa, who gagged comically. It was late, the only light coming from the crescent moon in the sky, and the few fires lit around camp. A small bit of light made it from cabins, but that was barely even notable.

Dean ignored her.

" _I_  am." Dean stated. "You're staying here at the camp."

"You've got to be kidding me." Cas gaped as they reached their own cabin, and Dean locked the door behind them.

"No, I'm really not." Dean shrugged his jacket off of his shoulders, toeing off his boots, before walking to the bathroom, splashing some water onto his face. Cas was still standing by the door when he walked out. "Problem?"

"What happened to ' _I'm not leaving you again, Cas_.'? Or, was that an empty promise?" He folded his arms over his chest, and Dean sighed, walking over, and taking Cas by the shoulders. He directed him to the bed, kneeling on the floor in front of him, to undo the laces on his boots. _  
_

"It was not an empty promise, and you know that." he slipped off the left boot. "But I can't afford to get distracted. If you're there with us, I'll be thinking of last time I took you on a hunt. Do you want me distracted while I'm out there?"

"Don't try to guilt me into letting you go without me." Castiel glared, as Dean pulled off his right boot, setting it next to the left. "I  _am_  coming with you tomorrow morning."

"No," Dean gave him a gentle push back onto the bed. "You're not."

"You weren't able to stop me last time," Cas leaned up on his elbows, as Dean tugged on the blue-eyed mans pants, lifting his hips a bit to let Dean pull them down his legs. "What makes you think you will this time?"

"Do you really think referencing  _anything_  that happened last time is going to help your case right now?" Dean asked, standing up to pull his own shirt off. _  
_

"Do you really think stripping is going to help yours?" Castiel asked, making work of the rest of his own clothes, as Dean did the same, until they were both left naked, Cas sitting on the bed, Dean in front of him, standing.

"Wasn't really my intention, no, but now that you mention it..." Dean smirked a bit, and Cas rolled his eyes, scooting back on the bed, and pulling down the covers, climbing under them. Dean went to flick off the dim light, before walking over to climb in next to Cas. The latter let himself be pulled into his husbands arms, a gentle kiss being pressed to his forehead. "Cas, I just got you back. I can't lose you again."

"I know how you feel." Cas muttered into his chest. "How do you think I'll feel, just staying back and waiting for you?"

"Safe."

"No, Dean," Cas pulled away, the curtains opened slightly enough that a single ray of light was hitting Dean across his cheek, down his neck and chest, until the blankets covered him. "I'll feel helpless. We've both managed to make it this far in the apocalypse. You wouldn't need to worry abo-"

"I know I wouldn't need to, Cas." Dean reached a hand up to cup around the back of Castiel's neck. "But I still would."

"Please, Dean." Cas fell back to the bed, pressing their lips together quickly, before pulling back again.

"We'll talk in the morning, okay?"

"Promise?"

"No." Dean kissed him again, and Castiel sighed. He refused to end the night in an argument. So, he turned his back to Dean, letting himself be spooned against the camp leader's back, shutting his eyes, and letting himself drift off to sleep, with the steady breath against his neck.

  

*

  

When he woke up, Dean was no longer next to him. But that wasn't the first thing that he was aware of.

He looked up, feeling his arm extended above his head, and something uncomfortable around it.

"You fucking asshole." he tugged at the handcuff. It clanked around a bit, on the metal bars above the bed, but didn't loosen at all. He sat up a bit, looking around for something to pick the lock with.

A small tray sat on the bedside dresser, with a cup of water, and some bread, fruit and jerky. The sun was already streaming inside, and Castiel wondered how long ago Dean had left. He reached out to pull the tray onto the bed, and idly ate a few things, sipping at the water, before he noticed something.

On the far side of the table, was a small metal key. About the size of one that you would assume might fit into the cuffs. Rolling his eyes, he reached out for it. Just as he made a grab for it, the door swung open, and he dropped it to the floor.

"Are you-" he groaned, looking up to see a brunette that he'd had yet to come into contact with, standing in the door. "Can I help you with something?"

"And you would be what, exactly?"

"An angel." Castiel bit out sarcastically. "I'm Dean's husband."

"Oh yea, Clarance, right? Heard some of the girls don't like you so much."

"It's Castiel."

"Hm?"

"My name. It's Castiel. And yours would be...?"

"Meg Masters, pleasure." she gave him a nod, before walking towards Dean's bathroom.

"What are you doing?"

"I am fairly certain that..." Meg walked over, prying open a floorboard from near the wall. "Aha!"

"Um..."

"About a month ago, Andy and I made a bet, that Dean had no dick, no heart, and so on. I was on the losing side, apparently, since you showed up." she lifted a shoe box up, opening the lid. "Dean has no idea, but I keep this hidden in hear, since it's basically the only place where no one will look." she pulled out a few joints from the box, and Cas sat up a bit straighter.

"Well," he tipped his head a bit. "It seems your hiding place has been compromised."

"It-" she paused, looking up at him. "Oh, shit."

" _However,_ " he continued. "If you pass me that key right there," he nodded to the floor. "We can, perhaps, discuss and arrangement for me to let you keep those in hiding in here."

"Alright, Clarance." Meg walked over, picking the key up, and handing it to him. He made quick work of undoing the cuffs. "What's the deal?"

   

An hour and a half later found Cas, Meg and her friend, Andy, sitting behind the latter two's shared cabin, sharing their second joint, passing it between the group.

"I like you, man." Andy handed Castiel the joint. "I don't get why you'd settle for such an asshole."

"He's not an asshole." Cas defended his husband, passing the joint to Meg, who promptly choked on the smoke. "You okay?"

"Not an asshole?" she laughed, taking another drag before handing it to Andy. "Are you sure it's the same Dean Winchester?"

"He thought I died four years ago," Castiel reasoned. "His parents are dead, he thought I was dead, and he's never been the  _best_  at coping."

"Yea, but to be so heartless?" Meg laughed scornfully. Castiel didn't bother to ask her what he'd done to make her dislike him so much; he didn't want to hear it.

  

  

When Dean arrived back at the camp, he wasn't too surprised to find the cabin empty, the tray of food only half eaten. He left his gun, holster and knife in the closet, locking it, before wandering back out to the camp.

"Risa," he called, seeing the brunette sitting not too far from his cabin. She sat up, pushing her chest out a bit, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yea, Dean?" she smiled.

"You seen Castiel?"

"Mm, yea." she slumped back into her chair a bit, eyes shutting halfway. "Why?"

"Because I want to know where he is." Dean tapped his foot on the ground as she laughed, a somewhat rough noise. "Do you know where he is?"

"Oh, I do." she smiled a bit. "But you're not going to like it."

"Risa-"

"About two hours ago," she cut him off. "I saw him wandering that way-" she pointed east. "-with Meg Masters."

   

Cas was just about to light another joint, when he caught sight of his husband stomping over. He smiled lazily up at him, waving the hand with the lighter around at him. Meg snorted a bit, head on Andy's lap.

"Cas." Dean's voice was even, and Cas smiled wider, shutting his eyes.

"Hi, Dean." he smiled, blinking up at him, meeting green eyes, standing right above him. "How was the hunt?"

"Fine." Dean nodded, as Cas dropped the lighter, muttering a curse. "What are you doing out here?"

"I'm um.." Cas groped around on the ground for a moment. "Making friends. This is-"

"Meg and Andy, yea, I know. Hey." he nodded at the two of them. "You ready to come back to the cabin now?"

"Alright, yea, sure." Cas stood up, stumbling over his own two feet, falling into Dean's chest. Strong arms wrapped around him as he leaned down to hand the joint to Andy, who gave him an intense head nod. "Okay,  _leggo!_ "

"Come find us when you can!" Meg shouted after the two of them, Dean all but carrying Cas back towards their cabin.

When they reached the cabin, Dean merely dropped Cas onto the bed, and turned away. Cas laid out across it, spreading his arms out on either side of his head, letting out a pleased sigh. The entire room smelled like Dean. It was great.

Dean came back over, placing a hand under Castiel's back, helping him into a sitting position, before pressing a glass to his lips. Cas drank some of the water, before turning his head away, yawning a bit. Some of the water dribbled down his chin.

"Alright," Dean settled Cas into the pillows. "You stay here, alright? I'll go find us some dinner. Do not go  _anywhere_."

"Stay here." Cas nodded. "Got it." He felt Dean's lips press to his head, before the were gone. He settled down into the pillows, letting Dean go off to get their food, still on the buzz from the weed. He liked it, and wondered why he'd never tried it before. It was a better feeling, overall, than the pills. The pills just numbed his senses. 

The weed - it was making everything, just,  _okay._

And it was great.

He stayed lost in his own little bubble of thoughts, before Dean came back with some dinner. Tonights menu was some pasty tasting rice, a few cooked vegetables, and some fresh meat - deer, according to Dean - that had been obtained that very day. Overall, it was one of the best meals that Castiel had had since the apocalypse started.

Dean stayed seated on the edge of the bed, leaving Cas to sit by himself by the pillows. After a bit, Cas could feel his buzz fading, and he started to realize just how pissed Dean looked. His jaw was set, and he refused to meet Castiel's eyes.

"Dean-"

"Don't." Dean cut him off, standing up.

"You cuffed me to the fucking bed!"

"I left you the key!"

"Then why cuff me in the first place?"

"Because, I knew if you woke up while we were leaving, you'd try to follow. You wouldn't have thought to look for the key right away, and by the time we found it, the rest of us would have been long gone."

"So, you have to treat me like a child?"

"No, that was me treating you like someone that I want to keep fucking safe so I don't lose you again!" Dean snapped. Cas froze, before Dean was turning on his heel, storming away from the cabin.

  

*

  

"So," Jess was folding up the dry laundry, as Sam hung the damp clothes on the line. He glanced over to her, clipping the clothes pin down. "Stanford?"

"What about it?" he tipped his head, shaking it to get the hair out of his face.

"You didn't strike me as much of the  _hit the books_ , type." she laughed, as Sam pulled a face, acting offended. "No, I mean, like - what were you doing there?" _  
_

"I was studying to become a lawyer." Sam stated, and Jess snorted. "Hey! I got in on a full ride, thank you very much."

"Where were you when all of-" she waved an arm towards the camp. "-started? I mean, you and Dean-"

"I'd been at home for the weekend." Sam stated. "It hit Lawrence around Easter, and our dad always took us on a hunting trip Easter weekend. We'd just gotten home when the news report hit, and when I called the school, they'd gone into lock down. I opted to stay at home."

"Oh." Jess nodded. "I had been in New York at the time." she placed a folded t-shirt into a basket. "I was still undecided in what to do for school, so I was taking time off. I'd just gotten home from visiting family in Europe, and my sister was picking me up. When we got out onto the streets, everywhere was blocked up. We ended up going to stay with guy, Henrickson, for a few weeks, before leaving."

"You have a sister?" Sam asked, before stopping, realizing what not knowing about her had meant.

"Had." Jess said softly, and Sam turned to see her still folding clothes. "She died in May, 2013. We had been in LA, just the two of us, when a group attacked us. Humans, ironically enough. Apparently she was showing signs of the virus, so they shot her first, questions later."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, there was nothing I could do about it." Jess shrugged her shoulders with a soft sigh. "I mean, I miss her, but we're all going to die at some point, right?"

"Wow, way to be positive." Sam chuckled weakly, and Jess laughed lightly. 

"I'm just saying. We're living in the middle of the apocalypse. We're lucky to be breathing right now, never mind having a home like this." she waved her hand to the camp. "I mean, you're basically my best friend, so I'll say this to you in complete confidence," she placed a t-shirt into the basket. "But my parents might be out there right now, and I hope to God that they don't find us."

"Why not?" Sam asked, hanging up the last pair of jeans.

"Because, they might be somewhere safer than here. I know that living in this camp is pretty good, but, everyone here has to be a warrior at some point. My parents aren't fighters. If they were here..." she trailed off, shaking her head with a sad smile on her lips. "I just like to pretend that they're safe."

"Maybe they are." Sam stated. "Maybe they found a little island off the coast, and are living there, with humans and no one is infected with the virus."

"You know, Sam." Jess stood, picking up the basket of folded laundry in her arms. "I like the way you think. Very convincing, I can see why you wanted to be a lawyer." she was smiling, a bit of a mischievous glint in her eyes. Sam shook his head, following her back towards the camp.

   

*

   

Castiel was still mad with Dean, over cuffing him to the bed, and now storming out of the cabin. But, not mad enough to go and find Meg and Andy again. So, he waited in the cabin.

When the sun started to set, he went and got himself a small something to eat, before going to sit alone in the cabin again; no one in the mess hall had seen Dean all evening. Sam had said that Dean did that sometimes, would just disappear for a while, but he'd turn up, completely unharmed.

So, Cas took a bath, thinking back to a few nights prior, when him and Dean had taken a bath together, just washing each other, sharing lazy kisses in the late evening.

He scrubbed his skin with a bit too much force, and got out of the tub with patches of pink on his body where he'd rubbed the skin raw. He dried off, before climbing into the bed, pulling the blanket up to his chin, missing the warmth of the body behind him.

The curtains were cracked open, as always, and he could see forms moving around the fires that were lit throughout the camp. He could make out Sam's giant frame easily, along with a girl - no doubt, Jess - sitting together, laughing. Cas sighed, wondering if anyone ever thought him and Dean that oblivious to their relationship. He hoped not.

  

A few fires had gone out by the time that he heard the cabin door open up. He kept his eyes trained towards the window, hearing the floorboards creak. It was a bit over a minute later that he felt the cool rush of air from the blanket being lifted, and a body was sliding in behind him.

"M'sorry." he muttered, pressing a kiss to Cas' shoulder. Cas let out a silent breath, pressing back against his husband.

"Then why'd you do it?" he asked in a whisper, turning his head a bit. Dean sighed, resting his forehead against the side of Cas' head.

"I dunno, I was scared." he bit his lip. "I lost you once, and I can't lose you again."

"Dean, I get that you've spent the last four years hunting," Cas pulled back a bit, so he could turn to face Dean, tangling their legs together. "But I've actually spent the last four years out  _there_ , moving from place to place. I  _can_  handle myself, quite well, actually."

"I'm not saying you can't," Dean pressed his face into Castiel's neck. "But I spent the last year as a walking zombie. I just got you back, and I am more scared of losing you, than I am of anything else. I can not lose you again, Cas."

"And you think I can lose you again, Dean?" Cas asked with a heavy laugh. He knew this was heading towards another argument, so instead of waiting for a response, he leaned in, pressing their lips together, hands going up to cup around the back of Dean's neck. Dean's hands were on his waist, pulling him closer, responding eagerly to the kiss.

Cas pushed Dean a bit, forcing the slightly larger man to roll onto his back, letting Cas settle so he was laying on Dean's body, pressed together from their faces to their toes.

"You're an asshole." Cas whispered, pulling back a bit, letting his lips just rub against Dean's as he spoke. Dean nodded.

"I know." he pressed back up, getting Cas distracted in another kiss, a slower, lazy kiss. Dean let his hands trail down to cup around Cas' ass, finger slipping to brush over his hole. Cas let out a soft breath of air, pressing back a bit.

He pulled back enough to look up, sitting up on his knees so he was straddling just above Dean's waist, reaching a hand out to the partially used jar of home-made lube. He opened it, holding it out to Dean, who dipped his fingers into it. Cas set it back onto the dresser, feeling Dean's fingers return to pressing at him, coated in the cool substance, now. He let out a heavy breath, leaning down on his forearms as Dean's first finger pushed past the ring of muscles, and Cas let out a choked moan.

"Love you," Dean muttered, voice breathy as he ran his hand up and down his husbands ribcage and waist with his free hand, Cas making needy whimpers into Dean's ear. "So much,  _God_ , I love you more than anything."

"Ye _a_." Cas' voice broke a bit as Dean added another finger to his minstrations, starting to scissor him, and hitting his prostate on his first try. He bit down lightly on Dean's earlobe, earning a soft growl from the green eyed man. "Love you -  _too_." 

He moved back to kiss Dean again, letting their mouths move together. Dean continued to work him open, as Cas' tongue pressed into his mouth, hands gripping Dean's short, blonde hair as he tried to breath through his nose, but God, he'd been scared that day, too. Dean had left him there, and he'd just found out that his husband wasn't dead. What if something had happened? He'd never forgive him.

" _Please_ ," Castiel choked out, finally pulling back from the kiss, voice rough and needy. "I'm ready, Dean."

"Yea, okay." Dean nodded a bit, suffling back until he was nearly seated on the pillows, Cas now straddling his knees. "C'mere."

Cas shuffled up, knees at Dean's sides on the pillows as he leaned in to press their lips together in another kiss, as Dean guided him down until he was seated on his cock. Cas let out a shakey breath, resting his forehead against Dean's shoulder. Dean's hands ran up and down Castiel's sides as he let the blue eyed man get adjusted. He shifted a bit, and Cas groaned.

"M'fine." Cas said, voice a rough, soft noise, barely above a whisper. " _Move_."

Dean nodded, though he wasn't sure if Cas could see him, and started to slowly press up, as Cas pulled him into another kiss, it was messy and slow, a lot of pulling back to just breath heavily as Cas started to move as well. He kept his hands knotted into Dean's hair, forearms rested on Dean's shoulders, for leverage. Dean groaned, arms wrapped around Cas, hands spread across his lower back, hips and the top of his ass.

"Can't," Cas gasped out. "Lose," he lifted up, drawing a moan from Dean. "You," he dropped back down, staying seated on Dean's hips until green eyes opened to meet his own. "Again."

"You won't," Dean assured him, pressing his hips up as much as he could, just grinding into Cas, managing to hit his prostate head on. Castiel let out a heavy groan, throwing his head back, and pulling Dean closer to him. Dean took the opportunity to suck a few harsh marks into the skin along his upper chest and throat, colouring the skin beautifully.

After that, it got quite messy, Cas lifting up and dropping down, groaning freely as Dean kept his pace effortlessly, arms still tight around him, relishing in the little noises that were leaving the man in his lap.

It was over quickly, Dean pulling Cas down into a messy kiss, and Cas coming over their chests and stomachs, Dean pressing up as he let Cas ride out his orgasm, before he was collapsing onto Dean. Dean chased his own relief, Cas letting out sobbing breaths, before he bit the skin just below Dean's ear, and he came with a low groan, dropping back into the pillows. Cas stayed plastered to him, dark hair merrier than usual, plastered to his forehead with sweat.

"Don't go without me again, please."

"I can't make you any promises." Dean said softly as he shifted them, pulling Castiel off of him. He reached over, pulling the pillow case from his pillow to wipe them both off as best as he could. Cas cuddled into his embrace once the pillow case was thrown across the room.

"Dean..."

"Let's just go to sleep, then." Dean whispered, pressing a kiss to a sweaty forhead, pulling the blanket up over them.

   

*

   

The next day was rough. 

Even after the night they'd had together, Cas was still upset with Dean. He had refused to promise not to leave without Castiel. And, while he knew he was being petty, he couldn't shake his anger. He'd been beyond the stupid fence for years, and now he was just stuck there, treated like some defenseless little being.

He could tell that Dean was annoyed, too, that Castiel wouldn't drop it. He walked a few paces ahead, instead of behind him. He didn't say anything when he left Castiel to go and plan, while Castiel went to the mess hall, that was being used as the school room for the time being.

"Trouble in paradise so soon?" a female voice came up beside Cas, who glanced over to see Risa, walking beside him now.

He was on his way back to the cabin, after about three hours with the kids. While, the kids who were over twelve were fairly good, the younger ones didn't completely understand what was being asked of them, and refused to participate.  Risa was a few inches shorter than he was, so he tried to walk faster. She started a light jog to keep up.

"What, don't want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." he stated plainly.

"That's not what I heard,"

"Then what you have  _heard_  is incorrect." he stopped, turning to face her. "I'm sorry, but you have been greatly misinformed. Whatever little group you have hear that is vying for my husbands attention should probably dismantle, because you're not going to get it. He went five years without me, and never so much as considered any of you. What makes you think now that I'm back, he'll suddenly fall to his knees for you?"

"And what makes you think he won't?" Risa bit out, stepping closer to Castiel, narrowing her eyes. "This apocalypse has changed all of us, more than you can imagine. I used to work at a Starbucks in fucking Boston, and now I fight off zombie-demons. Dean used to fix cars, right? Now, he runs a camp and kills people on a regular basis. And you? You taught children, and now you take pills and smoke pot. People change, and how compatible do you think you and Dean will be, in the long run, now? You're both still infatuated with the memory that you have of each other, so you're both too blinded to see how different you've both become."

"You've never been in love, have you?" Cas stepped back a bit.

"Oh, I've been in love. And if I saw him today, and he was anything like you, I'd turn his sorry ass away." she stepped back further, a small smile turning her lips up. "And as for his celibacy? Ever heard of respect for the dead?"

With that, she turned, walking away into camp. Castiel curled his hands into fists, watching the brunette disappear down the gravel path. He shut his eyes, breathing out his nose.

"Well, well, Clarance." Meg came up beside him, and he glanced over to see her with her arms crossed over her chest, watching in the direction that Risa had disappeared into. "That seemed pleasant."

"What do you want, Meg?" he all but growled, turning to the brunette. 

"I'm all out. I need you to get me a few joints from my stash." she pursed her lips, turning to him.

"Meg-"

"I'll give you an hour." she stated, turning away on her heel, storming off in the direction of her and Andy's cabin. He let out a heavy breath.

  

He started towards his cabin, thinking that his day had hit rock bottom - he and Dean were fighting, he was questioning their relationship, and he was acting as Meg's little helper monkey. But, it really was just a bad day.

"Castiel!" it was Bobby now, and he seemed angry.

"Yes?" Castiel glanced up, keeping his tone even.

"What the hell is going on with you and Dean?" Bobby snapped. Cas shook his head.

"Good question, tell me when you find out." he nodded, turning away. Bobby grabbed his arm.

"What the  _hell_  is your problem, boy?" Bobby asked as Cas turned. Cas just stared at him. "Look, buddy, I don't know you from Adam, but I know Dean pretty damn well. I know he's started acting different, not necessarily bad, since you showed up, but different. And now, today, he's acting like a complete asshole. He's pissy, and snapping at everyone. He's not in his right mind for planning, and you need to fix whatever is going on between you two, before someone gets killed."

" _I_  need to fix it?" Castiel snapped. "Me? He was the one who decided to cuff me to the bed to prevent me from trying to tag along on your stupid fucking hunt. I just didn't want him to leave me, but now I'm finding out that he apparently doesn't care what I have to say about anything! He's the leader of this Godforsaken camp, and nothing that anyone else says matters!"

"Don't talk about him like that." Bobby nearly shouted. "He has had a shit few years, and is doing the best he can. He didn't ask to be put in charge of this camp, but he was. So, he's trying to make the best of it, and I'm sorry if that's not what you want, but it's what's happening. He loves the heck outta you, for some odd reason, so you better treat him a bit better."

"Don't act like you know us." Castiel hissed. "Yes, I understand that you were with Dean these past few years while I wasn't, but he is still  _my_  husband. So mind your own fucking business, thanks." he snapped, turning and storming towards the cabin.

Once inside, he let out a heavy breath, steadying himself as he leaned against the door. He shut his eyes for a moment, before pushing away from the door to go and pry up the floor board, pull the entire box from beneath the panelling, and head out of the cabin.

He ignored the odd looks he got, carrying a shoebox through the camp, but found Meg sitting by herself behind the cabin, sharpening a knife with a rock. She looked up, her lazy smile turning to alarm as she saw the entire box.

"What the hell are you doing? I meant a few, not the whole god damn box!"

"Find a new hiding place." Cas snapped, shoving it into her hands. 

"What the fuck got your panties in a twist?" Meg made a face, and he let out a heavy sigh.

"The apocalypse." he stated plainly, turning away from her. The entire world seemed slightly fuzzy, but he shook his head, and it passed, despite hearing what sounded like a soft calling of his name from deep within from his mind. 

He was still seething, almost getting lost in the large camp, when someone called out his name.

"Cas?" it was Jess, and Cas turned to see the blonde girl, hair pulled up in a high ponytail, a few locks of hair tucked behind her ears. "You alright?"

"Do I look it?" he tried not to sound to sarcastic, but it still came out rude and snappy. Jess didn't seem fazed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. Cas let out a pathetic laugh, shaking his head, and looking up to the sky. "Cas-"

"I take drugs, my husband is the leader of a camp of killers, and we're living in a fucking apocalypse. What am I supposed to say?"

"Come on," Jess nodded with her head to follow, a large basket of folded laundry in her hands. Cas followed her to the large laundry room. It was just off of the building with the supplies. Mostly, it was the communal clothing area. People who were on laundry duty would wash clothes and bring them back here, and people who didn't care about their clothes would bring them here. If you wanted something kept to yourself - underwear, a specific article of clothing that you wanted to keep as your own - you were responsible for washing it yourself. "Grab a basket." Jess instructed, and Castiel grabbed a dirty laundry basket as Jess did the same.

He followed her outside, down towards the river. It was fresh water, and there were fences on either end of it, so nothing could get it, but the water travelled freely. It was mostly used for laundry purposes, the well near the mess hall for consumption.

Cas and Jess sat down, each grabbing a small stone and some soap from the tin hanging from a tree, and rolled up their pants, sitting on the edge of the water. It was late spring, so the cool water was refreshing.

"Why the sudden realization that the world is ending?" Jess asked after a few minutes, washing a large plaid shirt, that Castiel wasn't sure would fit anyone other than Sam properly.

"I don't know. Risa-"

"You shouldn't listen to her." Jess cut in, looking up. "She's always been a bitch, apparently. No one knows if it's because she lost someone, or she's always been this way. She likes to have things her way, and not having Dean in her bed is not her way."

"Yea, but..." Cas sighed, shaking his head as he rinsed off a blue t-shirt in the water, the bubbles floating away down the stream. "It's been five years. She's right; we've both changed. I know I am next to nothing like I was four years ago, and from what I've seen of Dean, he is nothing like that boy from Kansas that I fell in love with him."

"Alright," Jess nodded slowly, seeming to think over his words. "But, think about this  _new Dean_ , alright?"

"Alright..." he looked at her, brows furrowed.

"Think about this past week and a half since you got here. How he's acted around you, how he's acted towards you. How you have seen him act, and what you've heard about him."

"I don't get-"

"Now think about not falling asleep in his arms every night." Jess cut in, and Castiel froze. 

"No.." his voice was soft. Dean was different; God, he was different. But he was still Dean, and he was still Castiel's, by default. He did not intend to lose him again.

"Yea, you've both changed." Jess started back up, and Cas looked at her. "But that's just it, isn't it. You have  _both_  changed. Neither of you are the same person that you were before, and that's what keeps you together. If only one of you had changed, it wouldn't work, but now you've both changed, and you both need each other. You can relearn each other, fall in love all over again. You're not the same you, and he's not the same him, so maybe you don't want the same things that you once did. Maybe you want what he is now - maybe he wants what  _you_  are now."

"I don't-"

"Don't give me any bullshit answer." Jess stated bluntly. "I have been here for a bit of time now, and I have seen Dean act like nothing would faze him. When something happened, he wouldn't cry, wouldn't even blink at one of his people dying right in front of him." she paused, looking down. "But since you got here, he just seems different." she smiled a bit.

"How so?"

"He's lighter. Like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. When we're planning, he actually puts a bit of heart into it, and.." she laughed a bit. "Sam used to tell me that him and Dean were basically each other's best friends, and I didn't believe him until about two days ago when Dean just made this stupid little joke - told Sam to cut his hair, or he'd start calling him  _Samantha_  - and, God Cas, Sam was just glowing after Dean had left the room." she looked up, pale blue eyes meeting Cas'. "Like he was finally getting his brother back."

Cas looked down, again, starting to wash another article of clothing. He'd dumped the pile onto the ground, and was putting the cleaned articles into the basket. Him and Jess washed in silence for a few minutes, occasionally lifting up an odd item to show the other, laughing at it.

"So," Cas started as he picked up the second last item in his pile. Jess hummed glancing up at him for a second. "You and Sam?"

"What about us? He's my best friend." she laughed, looking up with a furrowed brow. Cas widened his eyes a bit.

"And...?" he edged, and she scoffed. "Dean is my best friend, too."

"Oh my god, no!" Jess splashed some water at him. "Sam and I aren't... no, we're just friends. Nothing more."

"Mhm, okay." Cas nodded.

"Seriously!" Jess stated, shaking her head. Cas looked at her, she was looking down at her lap now. "We're  _just_  friends."

"Jess," Cas rinshed off the last t-shirt that he'd been washing it, dropping it into the basket, before shuffling closer to her. "You do realize that he likes you back, don't you?"

"We're not talking about me, and some relationship that I'm not a part of." Jess looked up. "We're talking about you and Dean, and the fact that you need to go and-"

"Jess, Sam does care for you."

"As a friend, I know." she nodded a bit. Cas opened his mouth, but she continued. "Cas, I like him -  _God_ , I like him - but I like to think I know him fairly well, and he doesn't reciprocate my feelings. I don't think he's even looking for any kind of relationship, honestly."

"You know," Cas said slowly as they stood, collecting their baskets, and heading towards the line to hang them on. "I agree, you do know him fairly well, and I might not know him as well as I used to, but.." he smiled as she glanced over at him. "You've never gotten the pleasure of seeing how he looks at you, when you can't see him."

  

When Cas finished with Jessica and the laundry, he headed back towards his cabin. She had changed the topic again, and Cas had let her. He had told her a few things about him and the Winchesters prior to the apocalypse.

Currently, he was thinking of what she's said about him and Dean. How they'd both changed, and how maybe they still needed each other. It was odd, but he understood what she meant. He still kept imagining the Dean he'd fallen in love with, and getting shocked by this new Dean. Maybe he just needed to try and understand him, learn this new Dean.

When he stepped into the cabin, Dean was standing in the center of the room. He glanced up, eyes hard as they met Cas'.

"What the hell did you say to Bobby?" he snapped. Cas froze for a moment, before just crossing the room, and wrapping his arms around Dean, not saying anything. Dean went still in his arms for a moment, before returning the hug. "Cas?"

"I'm sorry." Cas said, voice a soft whisper. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to get mad at you, or take it out on Bobby, or get high with Meg, or-"

"Babe," Dean pulled back, hands going to cup Cas' face, meeting his eyes. "Are you okay? Did something happen?" his eyes were flicking back and forth between Castiel's as he spoke. Cas reached his own hands up to cup Dean's, holding them in place.

"I'm fine," he breathed out. "Just sorry."

"Yea," Dean pulled Cas into an embrace. "Me too."

"What for?"

"Being my stubborn self?" Dean offered, and Cas had to stifle his laughter in Dean's shoulder. "But I still want to know what you said to piss Bobby off so bad... he said I married the biggest ass hole to ever grace the earth, and told me that he all but shot you today."

"Well, I think that that is a bit of an over reaction." Cas muttered, pulling from Dean's embrace. "I just kind of blew up on him a bit, telling him to butt out of our relationship."

"A bit?"

"Okay, a lot." Cas shrugged, pulling his slightly damp shirt over his head, swapping it for a dry one. "Dinner now? I spent the remainder of the afternoon, after my run in with Bobby, at the river with Jess, washing laundry."

"You were on laundry duty today?" Dean asked.

"Um.." Cas blanked. He shut his eyes. "No?"

"So, she tricked you into doing part of her share?"

"In her defence, she also gave me some relationship advice."

"You, a married man, needed relationship advice from a chronically single, hot blonde?"

"Well, she and Sam have their thing."

"She and Sam - what  _thing_?"

"Seriously?" Cas stared at Dean, who stared back. "It's unofficial, but..." he shook his head with a smile. "How have you not seen how they look at each other?"

"Haven't been paying that much attention, honestly." Dean offered. Cas sighed deeply, taking his husbands hand in his own as they walked through the camp. As they walked, he caught Risa's eye, and smiled at her. She glared as she continued her conversation on with Brady, who seemed blissfully unaware as he waved his arms around, telling his story.

When they walked into the mess hall, Jess smiled at the two, and Cas returned it, eyes glancing at Sam, before back to her. She looked down to her food, hair falling on either side of her face, as Sam turned away from his conversation with Ash.

"Cas, Dean!" he smiled at the two. "What took you guys so long?"

"Nothing." Cas offered, before they went to get their dinner, before returning to the table. "Why?"

"Jess said that  _you_ -" he pointed an accusartory finger at Cas, nearly hitting him in the face. "-told her about the time you and Dean thought it would be funny to get me drunk when I was sixteen, and I started crying over that Amy girl."

"You were quite a lightweight." Cas shrugged, feeling Dean's hand on his thigh. "We didn't even get in trouble for it."

"Why were you such a lightweight?" Jo asked, sitting down beside Cas.

"He'd never drank, aside from the occasional sip of wine or champagne in his parents company."

"At sixteen?" Jo laughed.

"I was busy with school!" Sam offered with a groan, folding his arms over on the table, before dropping his face to them. He groaned again, and Jess gasped, snorting out a small laugh as she covered her face with her hands. Cas gave her a look.

"There's still food on his plate.." she told everyone, voice muted slightly by her hands. Ash was the first to start laughing, as Sam sat back up, a few bits of lettuce, and some of the juice from the steak, stuck to his cheeks and forehead.

Cas glanced over to Dean, to see his brow furrowed slightly, looking between Sam and Jess. Cas turned back to see how they were both angled slightly towards each other, and laughed a bit. Sam glanced up, raising an eyebrow, while Jess shot him a glare.

   

*

  

It wasn't until a few days later that the problems were brought back up.

When Castiel had tried confronting Dean, more than once, about taking him out on hunts, his husband had merely acted as though he hadn't even spoken. But, Cas was trying to let it slide, knowing that Dean was stressed, and  _not the same Dean, and he wasn't the same Cas_. And, he had to let things settle naturally.

And, when he woke up one morning, the late morning sunlight shining in through the rip in the curtain, the bed cold beside him, he tried to let it slide. He knew Dean had probably gone out with the others, and he could let it slide.

So, he stood, went to take a shower, before he got dressed. When he walked back out, he saw his breakfast - larger than usual, especially since he barely even touched it in the first place - on the dresser across the room. He wondered if it was a peace offering.

He picked at it a bit, before deciding he wasn't that hungry, and slipping his boots on. Then he went to the door.

And, that's when he lost his shit.

He went to pull it open, only for it to stick after opening about half an inch. He furrowed his brow, tugging at the door.

"What the fuck?" he jerked it, and heard a small jingling. He peered through the gap, to see a large lock, keeping the door from opening. Sam was sitting on the steps, a book in his hands. " _Sam!_ " he hissed, and Sam jumped, turning.

"Hey, Cas." he smiled.

"Um." Cas licked his lips. "Would you mind telling me why I'm locked in my cabin?"

"Uh.." Sam made a face. "Dean?"

"Dean locked me in here?" he seethed. "Why the f-"

"He didn't want you to try and sneak away, or go and get high, again." Sam cut in, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Will you let me out?"

"He took the key. I'm just here on guard duty - he, Jess, Bobby, Garth and Risa are out on a hunt."

"I know you can pick a lock, Sam." Cas tugged on the door again.

"Um, well, yea.." Sam scratched behind his head. "But Dean promised me that if you left the cabin while he was gone, he'd pulled off two of my finger nails. And I really don't want that."

"Are you fucking with me right now?"

"I'm sorry." Sam apologized, and Cas let out a frustrated shout, slamming the door as best as he could. He turned back to the cabin, suddenly regretting giving Meg her entire box of joints. He sat on the floor, prying up the floorboard, hoping to find a stray joint. There were none.

He pressed the floorboard back into place with a heavy sigh, standing up. He looked around the room, seeing nothing exciting. He decided to try and find any other hidden objects in the  _fearless leader's_  cabin.

  

So, he spent the next hour trying at different floorboards, tapping on the wall in hopes of an escape, only to come up empty handed.

He went to move the dresser from the bedside, only to knock it over. It broke, the top drawer skitting across the room, and he sighed, standing it back up, and spending forty five minutes, and basically destroying the metal knife he'd been given with his food, to fix it. He turned to the grab the drawer, when he noticed that it was larger than the small area in it to place objects.

He ran his hand around the inside of it, touching the bottom, until he found a small latch he could pull up. The hidden area was about three inches deep, and held only a large metal compact looking item, that seemed vaguely familiar.

He wondered who would hide something in the dresser in Dean's room as he pulled it out, placing the bottom back onto it, putting the drawer back into place.

He sat down on the bed, opening it. He breathed out of his nose at the two pictures inside of it.

One was of Mary, John, a seven year old Dean, and a three year old Sam. It was from a summer, and they were all at the beach. Dean was standing behind a large sand castle, nearly as big as he was, arms open and motioning to it, mouth dropped open, eyes wide, focused on the object, not the camera. John was next to him, partially behind the castle, hand out on Dean's small back, probably steadying him, while Mary sat on the opposite side of the castle, Sam on her lap, his entire fist stuck in his mouth. It was faded.

The other, was a picture of him and Dean.

They looked to be about seventeen in the photo, and Cas remembered the photo being taken. It was the morning after they'd first slept together - the summer before their senior year, John and Mary were out of town, dropping Sam off at some math camp.

The morning after, he had woken up cuddled to Dean's side, head on his shoulder. Dean had reached out, grabbing the polaroid camera that Cas had given him for his birthday, wanting to capture  _Cas, via the morning after_.

It was a sweet photo, Cas looking sleepy and happy, cuddled into Dean's side, Dean holding the camera out, a wide smile across his face, eyes crinkling at the sides. It would have been cuter had Cas not had his hand resting across his own cheek, giving the camera the middle finger.

He sighed a bit, before opening the door, pulling away the false bottom and returning it to it's original home, before shutting the drawer again. He went to pick at the food, before going to look out the window, to see Sam had finished over half of his book.

"Sam," he called, walking over to pull the door open a bit. Sam turned. "Look, I am willing to trade information with you for my release." he bartered, and Sam laughed.

"Seriously, Cas?"

"I'm bored and lonely!"

"I like my fingernails." Sam set the book down, dogearing the corner of the page.

"My information is on a certain blue eyed, blonde haired  _best friend_  of yours?" Cas offered. "But, I refuse to speak until I've been let out."

"Cas, she's my best friend. If she's not telling me something, it's for her own reasons. And, if she told you, then why would you break her trust?"

"Well." Cas paused, before groaning. "Oh, fuck you, just let me out!"

"Sorry, no can do." Sam smiled a bit, picking his book back up, and returning to it, ignoring Cas.

   

Cas was sitting on the bed, flipping through a book that Jess had given him a few days prior, when the door slammed open. He jumped, looking up to see Dean, who didn't even give him a moment of acknowledgement, before storming into the bathroom. The door slammed shut behind him.

"Oh, no you fucking don't." Cas shut the book, putting it down on the dresser, before going to the bathroom. He knocked on the door a few times, but after recieving no answer, he just opened it. Dean was leaning on the bathroom sink, water dripping from his face.

"What?" he snapped, voice hoarse.

"You locked me in the fucking cabin, is  _what_." 

"Didn't want you going off to get fucking  _high_  again." Dean muttered, staying frozen in his place.

"Okay, look, I get it, you don't want me coming out with you guys for whatever bullshit reason it is, that I can't handle myself or whatever, but locking me in the  _cabin_?" he snapped. "I can't spend my entire life just following you around while you're here, then being forced into solitude when you're not! Stop treating me like some inferior being!"

"I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"I can handle my fucking self!"

"You know what, fine." Dean stood, turning to shove Castiel back against the wall, a few drops of water still dripping down his face. "You can handle yourself so fucking well? Then get out of my fucking cabin."

Cas froze, jaw dropped a bit, Dean's eyes hard as they stared into his own. He gave Dean a shove off of him, turning away, and walking out of the bathroom. He pulled his boots on, trying not to pass out, trying to breath. Yea, he'd gotten mad, but Dean was  _completely_  over reacting. He was the one who'd locked his huband in a room all day!

He stepped out into the slightly cool evening air, unsure of where he was going. He started walking, and froze at the sight of the large crowd gathered near the front. Usually, people would have gone back to their own cabins, or to do whatever.

He felt his heart drop when he heard choked sobs, that sounded undeniably like Sam's. He made his way over, feeling a weight lift from his chest at the familiar blonde girl on the ground near Sam, but not completely.

Sam was leaning back against Jess' chest, knees bent awkwardly as he cried, face burried in his hands as Jess held him, a few tear tracks glistening down her own cheeks. Castiel looked around the crowd, finally.

Ellen was knelt on the ground, crying, her daughter holding her as she cried as well. Ash was at the large jeep, shouting and beating his fists against it.

"What happened?" Cas asked, voice soft. Garth was beside him, and sighed.

"Bobby died."

Cas turned, running back to his own cabin, shutting the door behind him, and running to the bathroom, leaving his muddy boots on. Dean was laying in the bathtub, still dry and completely clothed, a bottle of whiskey in his hands, the first quarter of it already gone, as he was drinking more.

"Hey," Cas sat down on the floor next to the tub. Dean kept his eyes focused blankly on the wall. Cas reached a hand up to run through Dean's hair, only to be ignored, so he continued. "I'm sorry about Bobby."

"It was my fault."

"Dean-"

"I was in charge of the hunt. Bobby is one of the  _best_  hunters that I know, he's been doing this for the better part of his life, and he died on  _my_  watch."

"Dean, it's not your fault." Cas muttered, leaning in to press a kiss to his temple.

"If I can't keep him safe, than how am I supposed to keep you safe?" Dean turned to look at him. Castiel shook his head.

"I'm sorry." he muttered again, as Dean took another swig of the whiskey. "Come on, then." Cas took the bottle from his hand, and started undressing his husband. Dean was pliant, letting Cas manouver him around until he was naked, and Cas turned on the water, putting the drain in, and letting the water fill around Dean.

He grabbed the cloth and soap once it was full, turning off the tap, and taking his time washing the dirt and dried blood from Dean, pressing kisses to his skin every so often, mutting soft endearments into his skin, although he wasn't sure if he was even being listened to.

When he was done, Dean let himself be pulled from the tub and dried off, before walked to the bedroom. He laid there while Cas went to let the water out from the tub, and quickly wipe away the layer of grime from it, before returning to the bed. He crawled in next to Dean, cuddling into his arms, letting Dean wrap around him, protect him with his body.

"I love you." Cas whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the hollow of Dean's throat.

"I love you, too." Dean whispered, voice still hoarse and rough. Cas nodded, letting sleep lull him under.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. Like, really, I am so sorry. When I started part one, I hadn't thought that I was going to kill any characters, but now I get why the writers of the show do it.
> 
> As well, the whole Sam/Jess story is basically written like that, because every single Destiel fic with the two of them that I've ever read has such an easy story for them. And, if Destiel is established, then we need to have a couple that is in denial. And also, I just like having them both so unsure. It's cute.
> 
> And, I got bored last night, and planned out the series, and it'll be 8 parts in total. So, this is 2/8, and I think they might get longer as I go. Part 7 will probably be the longest. That is all. Any questions can be voiced in the comments below, or anything else!
> 
> All comments and kudos are always apprieciated! <3


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